Even whores have hearts
or
what is a whore without a heart
Thursday, August 6, 2009
ignorant intent
Which matters more: the word or the intent? if the word, then you're an ignorant. If the intent, then I'm an ignorant. Either way, the conversation is meaningless.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Carnal Buffet
Give me a fork
so I may feast
on carnal sin.
How mouthwatering!
My tongue
savoring the meat
so tender.
Your weak
stomache
never could handle
such delicacies.
You shit
upon yourself
like a child
& again
like an infant
always wanton
the tastes
meant for men.
so I may feast
on carnal sin.
How mouthwatering!
My tongue
savoring the meat
so tender.
Your weak
stomache
never could handle
such delicacies.
You shit
upon yourself
like a child
& again
like an infant
always wanton
the tastes
meant for men.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
To the punks who keep fucking with my window
Dear Window Toucher,
I know my car holds all kinds of wonder and enjoyment. Its got that cracked windshield and 4-wheel drive, and there's a certain magic bursting from the rusted muffler. If you're anything like me then the crap that fills my trunk just calls your name. I know, and understand, but dammit man, please quit FUCKING with my window. This shit is not funny anymore. I know the rattle and missing side-paneling make playing with the sliding glass o-so-much-fun, but really, not when it's raining, dude. That makes you an asshole. I mean, I already kinda suspected when you dumped my ashtray IN my car instead of the parking lot (ok, so I don't have to smoke, but that's my suicide, so here's the bird) when you stole my bangin stereo circa 1999. I mean, that radio was the sole purpose behind my purchase, well, that and the fact that my Rodeo is great for tailgating. (You have no idea how many wonderful nights have been spent on, in, or around that tailgate. mmmm....memories!)
All I'm asking is that you leave the window alone on days when it's hailing, is that too much to ask? Cuz for real, I don't care so much on the sunny days because, well, let's face it, Hellboy isn't such a hot bastard by the time I get home. You're actually helping me out a lil. Deal?
Sincerely,
the owner
I know my car holds all kinds of wonder and enjoyment. Its got that cracked windshield and 4-wheel drive, and there's a certain magic bursting from the rusted muffler. If you're anything like me then the crap that fills my trunk just calls your name. I know, and understand, but dammit man, please quit FUCKING with my window. This shit is not funny anymore. I know the rattle and missing side-paneling make playing with the sliding glass o-so-much-fun, but really, not when it's raining, dude. That makes you an asshole. I mean, I already kinda suspected when you dumped my ashtray IN my car instead of the parking lot (ok, so I don't have to smoke, but that's my suicide, so here's the bird) when you stole my bangin stereo circa 1999. I mean, that radio was the sole purpose behind my purchase, well, that and the fact that my Rodeo is great for tailgating. (You have no idea how many wonderful nights have been spent on, in, or around that tailgate. mmmm....memories!)
All I'm asking is that you leave the window alone on days when it's hailing, is that too much to ask? Cuz for real, I don't care so much on the sunny days because, well, let's face it, Hellboy isn't such a hot bastard by the time I get home. You're actually helping me out a lil. Deal?
Sincerely,
the owner
Drama-Rama
Drama is a flame that just will not be put out. And the more water used, the more the smoke fills your eyes, and that shit burns!
Drama is my my mama, though. It birthed me, cuddled me in my infancy, spanked my ass as a teenager, and then, cuz I was (nope, scratch that AM) a rez bunny, I decided to marry the bitch in an incestuous and lavish ceremony. But, and I know I've said this before, I'm leaving the damn psycho. She's crazy and makes my life a living hell. She was fun when we were young and drunk and flying high on ecstacy, but now I'm just too old for her punishments and tantrums. I'm gonna need a good lawyer and a bottle of Kettle One for this breakup, and maybe even a Restraining Order. I'm scared!
Drama is my my mama, though. It birthed me, cuddled me in my infancy, spanked my ass as a teenager, and then, cuz I was (nope, scratch that AM) a rez bunny, I decided to marry the bitch in an incestuous and lavish ceremony. But, and I know I've said this before, I'm leaving the damn psycho. She's crazy and makes my life a living hell. She was fun when we were young and drunk and flying high on ecstacy, but now I'm just too old for her punishments and tantrums. I'm gonna need a good lawyer and a bottle of Kettle One for this breakup, and maybe even a Restraining Order. I'm scared!
edited email to Mr. Bob
you "scoff" at knowledge being the enemy of faith, huh? lol...i love you! i know it's the religious clamor for life-sustaining technology, and I also agree with you that they fear death, which I do no understand. life and death not only make the cornerstone of religion, they're the only truths in this world. we are born and we die. however, without this fear of death there would be no need for religion? and what's with this almost-obsessive need to live altruistically? Why do we avoid hurting one and not another? What is to come of selective emotional availability?
What I've taken into myself this summer is a lesson on self-committment. After John and I broke up I pretty much lost my shit. Meex said she's never seen me so emotional over a partner, not even after 4 years of abuse and ego-damage with Aaron. I think the reason for this is because, for the first time in my adult life, I was honest, faithful, and vulnerable to myself and my partner. I allowed myself, for the first time, to really fall in love. It's sad to say that, at 30 years old, I've only been in love once, and to a man who really didn't deserve it.
All I can say is that this heartbreak, as boring as it is, changed me, for better or worse. I'm done with loving others just for the sake of loving them. I'm done with giving myself wholly to people in hopes that they will honor my attempt with similar respect and courtesy. i'm done trying to live my life good for other people. William Blake wrote "Love seeketh not itself to please" which i totally believed in until this summer. Now I think love seeketh only itself to please because it cannot please others until itself is satisfied. i know this is a tangent, and i'm still trying to figure things out, but i'm working on it.
I'm done with a lot of bullshit, including others who live their lives for fear of God or fear of death. I told a certain friend of mine that I like him because he gives me freedom, which most people cannot do because they're afraid. He asked afraid of what and I said afraid of being inferior, being left behind, or being hurt. Giving another person complete freedom requires strength and confidence. He said he never thought of it like that and, honestly, neither had I til that moment. Cormac McCarthy wrote "they only fear dying in bed" and he didn't mean it as in afraid of dying while fucking, he meant fear that they would die in their sleep, while they were not out living. I think, if I'm going to pick any fear to have from now on, that will be it.
What I've taken into myself this summer is a lesson on self-committment. After John and I broke up I pretty much lost my shit. Meex said she's never seen me so emotional over a partner, not even after 4 years of abuse and ego-damage with Aaron. I think the reason for this is because, for the first time in my adult life, I was honest, faithful, and vulnerable to myself and my partner. I allowed myself, for the first time, to really fall in love. It's sad to say that, at 30 years old, I've only been in love once, and to a man who really didn't deserve it.
All I can say is that this heartbreak, as boring as it is, changed me, for better or worse. I'm done with loving others just for the sake of loving them. I'm done with giving myself wholly to people in hopes that they will honor my attempt with similar respect and courtesy. i'm done trying to live my life good for other people. William Blake wrote "Love seeketh not itself to please" which i totally believed in until this summer. Now I think love seeketh only itself to please because it cannot please others until itself is satisfied. i know this is a tangent, and i'm still trying to figure things out, but i'm working on it.
I'm done with a lot of bullshit, including others who live their lives for fear of God or fear of death. I told a certain friend of mine that I like him because he gives me freedom, which most people cannot do because they're afraid. He asked afraid of what and I said afraid of being inferior, being left behind, or being hurt. Giving another person complete freedom requires strength and confidence. He said he never thought of it like that and, honestly, neither had I til that moment. Cormac McCarthy wrote "they only fear dying in bed" and he didn't mean it as in afraid of dying while fucking, he meant fear that they would die in their sleep, while they were not out living. I think, if I'm going to pick any fear to have from now on, that will be it.
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